I wanted to do another take on show and tell, but with a different twist. Can you "show" without describing anything?
Tell:
The girl was bored.
Show:
Sigh. Open book. Read.
Close book. Get up. Go to the computer.
Sit. Check email. Stand.
Nothing new.
Stretch. Yawn. Walk to the kitchen.
Open the fridge. Grab nothing. Back to the couch.
It is so typical of descriptions of boredom to be just that...descriptions. We create a scene by showing what is happening in the typical way "Maddie opened her book and desperately tried to read. Anxious, she walked to the computer and logged on..."but here you paint the same picture without doing that. The short, sharp, choppy, one-to-two-word sentences characterize the speaker as bored because the collection of sentences show how quickly the character moves from one activity to the other, trying to stay busy but failing. I think this is more effective than the typical description because it makes the boredom seem more "real" in a sense.
ReplyDeleteI wasn't sure if it worked or not but I went for it. Again, thanks for taking the time to comment.
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