Someone is prying my pelvis bone open
from the front
with a crow bar.
Punched from the inside, I breathe big
until the pressure releases.
I push my thumb into my ankle and watch
my thumbprint
slowly decompress
like a hand released from memory foam.
I carry three gallons of extra blood and water around
like Lipton tea.
When I walk my hips pop; I wish I could pop my legs off
and reattach them
like I used to do to my Barbie dolls.
My chest is a road map of blue veins that drive
into darkened areolas.
My head gets faint, and I can feel the pounding of my heart
against my eardrum.
Ritualistic sleeping: one pillow pressed up
against my back,
one
between my knees.
One
for my head,
one
for my arm.
Settle in, breathe. Shift, breathe.
Now I have to pee.
Get up, use the bathroom, lay back down.
Switch sides.
Rearrange pillows.
Sigh.
It feels as if my sides are going to rip
like the college-ruled paper torn
from my notebook.
My tongue, swollen and crinkled
like accordian bag bellows.
Sharp pain
Sweat patches
Metal mouth
Dry heaves
No whiskey
endless tea.
All for the love
of baby-to-be.
April, I loved this. What a great description of how it feels to be pregnant! Your specificity, metaphors, and similes are brilliant. I especially like: "My chest is a road map of blue veins that drive into dark areolas." I love this imagery: "I wish I could pop my legs off and reattach them like I used to do to my Barbie dolls.
ReplyDeleteSleeping on your side with pillows propped, especially between your knees and then having to get up to pee and then rearranging them again. No alcohol, not even a Tylenol. Suffering through a cold with no medication to alleviate symptoms. All for the love of Baby-to-be. Although my Baby-to-be is now 31 years old, it seems like only yesterday.
April, I love this piece! I think it is such a great way of looking at pregnancy in a new way. I like that some of it is brutal but that you compare these with everyday things like Lipton tea and popping the legs off Barbies. This definitely gives a new perspective on the pains of pregnancy and gives a reference for us who have never been pregnant. Honestly I think there are only a very few things that could be strengthened in the piece, just awkward wording and such. Like “I breathe big” just sounds odd to me, maybe try changing it to “I breathe deeply” or saying that she is breathing so deeply that she expands or something like that. The line “Get up, use the bathroom, lay back down” sounds very cut-and-dry, so you could try changing it to “Get up, waddle to the bathroom, then lay back down.”
ReplyDeleteThis is great, one of your best yet!